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Top 20 Funniest Tweets From Parents This Week Another week and and another round of funny tweets from parents! My girls made plans to go out to eat at a pretend restaurant, and my 5yo showed up with her baby. Scroll down to read the latest batch, and follow @HuffPostParents on Twitter for more! funny parent tweets this week 2022the hardy family acrobats 26th February 2023 / in was forest whitaker in batteries not included / by / in was forest whitaker in batteries not included / by The kids harmonizing to We Dont Talk About Bruno in the backseat sounds nice theoretically but theyve changed the words to We Dont Talk About Buttcheeks. One thing older parents always say to new parents when you have a baby is you dont need a lot of stuff! and Im here to tell you this is wrong. Jun 24, 2022, 09:46 AM EDT Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. Another week and and another round of great tweets from parents! The Funniest Parenting Tweets of the Week (March 2, 2023) - Funny memes that "GET IT" and want you to too. Im 40. Just sell the vehicle. ". Picked up my sons from school and stopped to get gas, invited them to get out of the car and learn how to do it. My 5yos lunch bag came home yesterday with a bunch of noodles on it. I didn't know it was that serious. Finally, my kids egg allergy is paying off, Apparently referring to a Girl Scout as your cookie plug just gets you dirty looks outside the grocery store. My pregnant wife asked for an Oreo so I brought her a single Oreo. Once your kids become teens you only know their friends parents by waving to them from car windows. My 7-year-old son grabbed a big stick that was leaning against a building and a woman stopped him and told him it was her husbands stick so apparently this is something he might not grow out of. Do you love humor and heartwarming stories? ". Because, you know, it was a really good box. So each week, we round up the most hilarious quips from parents on Twitter to spread the joy. You are also agreeing to our Terms of Service and Privacy Policy. That Mom Tho (@mom_tho) January 16, 2022. Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. Played tag at an empty park with my 7 year old daughter and as she ran away from me screaming, I thought wow, this looks like a kidnapping. Be sure to follow these tweeters for an A+ TL! My husband and son are farting on one another. I got mad. Turn it off! Do you love humor and heartwarming stories? They started fighting. Youngest child: Here are the 7 pictures of me as a child. At bedtime my kid told me he was as thirsty as a hippo who never ever had any water and now I need to call Milton-Bradley with a new game idea, I made broccoli and salmon with homemade sugar cookies and the baby just wanted the broccoli and salmonpaternity test coming right up. By entering your email and clicking Sign Up, you're agreeing to let us send you customized marketing messages about us and our advertising partners. i have failed you. Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. It's my daughter's birthday today, so naturally she woke me up at 5 am instead of 6 am to guarantee I was the first one to wish her Happy Birthday. Scroll down to read the latest batch, and follow @HuffPostParents on Twitter for more! Is it leave her in the woods? 5 year old: can you breathe on the moon?me: no, there's no oxygen5 year old: what if you had an oxygen tank?me: then yes5 year old: what if the oxygen tank was empty?me: then no5 year old: what if you refilled it with oxygen?me: is someone paying you to do this? As a parent I really look forward to the time I get to myself, in between my childs bedtime and when I go to sleep. The Funniest Tweets From Parents This Week (Feb. 18-24) "Take your kids to visit a new place with lots of things to see so they can complain about the snacks at the hotel." By Caroline Bologna Feb 24, 2023, 12:57 PM EST | Updated Feb 26, 2023 Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. Scroll down to read the latest batch, and follow @HuffPostParents on Twitter for more! careful with that cursor son. Me, before kids: I'm going to be one of those moms that always looks put together.Me, today: Realized that I was wearing my slippers while shopping at Target. Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. You are also agreeing to our Terms of Service and Privacy Policy. Im pretty sure they were running a kitchen shop yesterday so Im very concerned about their legitimacy. My daughter has decided she now eats dark chocolate, the one treat I never had to hide because I was the only one in the house who liked it. Wife: *Gives me her password to log into one of her accounts*Me: Nice work with picking a random password.Wife: Its our anniversary. Here are some of the best quips I've come across this week. One of the main parts of being a dad or husband is just waiting in the car. 8: It's Mom. FOR THE LOVE OF GOD WHAT? Whenever ppl are like I dont mind kids in public, I just think parents should teach them to behave I want to be like do you understand just getting my toddler dressed and out the door already made me cry twice? 8-year-old: Do you have a favorite kid?Me: That would be like you having a favorite parent.8: It's Mom. But you cant have both. Here are some of my favorite quips from this week. Your kids are lying around all day, complaining that they're bored. i forgot to set the trash can out and missed the pick up. "Take your kids to visit a new place with lots of things to see so they can complain about the snacks at the hotel. My son has a shirt that says, "my dad . By entering your email and clicking Sign Up, you're agreeing to let us send you customized marketing messages about us and our advertising partners. Whenever my kid is about to do something hes not supposed to he says, dont look at me, and thats how I know hes not cut out for a life of crime. pic.twitter.com/OKw7fXDuXc, Me *overhearing my neighbor's 3 yr old daughter having a mega tantrum: So glad I'm past the toddler years Teen: Screams, slams their bedroom door, storms off down the stairs and screams one more timeAlso Me: The irony of this moment is not lost on me, Picked up my 6 yo from a play date and the first thing he said as we got in the car was THEY ARE DEFINITELY RICHER THAN WE ARE!!. To that end, every week, we round up the most hilarious quips from parents on Twitter to spread the joy. The Funniest Tweets From Parents This Week Tory Civil War Deepens As Jake Berry Joins Growing Wind Farm Rebellion Matt Hancock Accused Of Sneaky Ploy To Win Votes From I'm A Celebrity. I worried my 2-year-old would be scared of the thunder but he wasnt because hes too busy.. 25 of the Funniest Tweets About Life With Preschoolers, 20 Hilarious Tweets That Capture the Reality of Working in Retail or Customer Service, Top 20 Funniest Tweets From Parents This Week. Me: You mean red light, green light. By entering your email and clicking Sign Up, you're agreeing to let us send you customized marketing messages about us and our advertising partners. Jessie (@mommajessiec). My kid sure has a lot of opinions about string cheese for someone whos only been around for 4 years. My 9yo very disappointed, "it's rigatoni learn your pasta." She tries to hit the baby and it tries to hit back. My 3-year-old said she wished we had a pet. You are also agreeing to our Terms of Service and Privacy Policy. Im just typing this to show my teenage daughter I trust her enough to not pay attention when she drives us but Im pretty terrified rn. Also, uh oh, summer. Top 20 Best Tweets From Funny Mom and Teacher Katie D. Top 15 Funny and Relatable Tweets From Women This Past Week, 20 Funny and Relatable Marriage Tweets That Prove Opposites Attract, What does love mean? Hilarious and Heartwarming Answers From Kids. My toilet is smoking. I didnt listen. his cart showed $984.31 and i acted as if i had to defuse a bomb. This baby in the mirror is real trouble. 5yo: NO I DOOOOONT *tantrums harder*. Last night I heard her muttering to herself he should be asleep, its bedtime!, I live closer to my sons school now. Hold on to it. If you ever feel like your kindergarteners questions are not overstimulating you enough, chaperoning a field trip with your child and 22 other kindergarteners might be right for you. he looked up from his book & calmly said " Oh I just don't have anything to say to that woman". Or, if you're not in the kid-having camp, a selection of funny relationship. 8: We only go. Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. It's finally March, and you know what that means? You are also agreeing to our Terms of Service and Privacy Policy. Oldest child: Here are 100 pictures of me as a baby eating oatmeal. So anyway, he's my new therapist. Scroll down to read the latest batch, and follow @HuffPostParents on Twitter for more! 5 min read. Sign up to follow me here! Isnt that amazing?Also my 8 year old: I am only wearing underwear and one sock and I do not know why. Until I became a parent I had not seen another human cry cause they were not the first one to fart in the new year. It was born 15 minutes ago, it looks like a potato. I think the reason it's cloudy is because the sun wanted to sleep longer.-my 4yo, the meteorologist. Scroll down to read the latest batch, and follow @HuffPostParents on Twitter for more! So excited for my kids to go back to school and I especially like the part where they bring home a new illness for the next month. Snarky Mommy (@SnarkyMommy78) January 15, 2022. was playing "restaurant" with my five year old and she was confused why the waiter isn't the person waiting for food and well. 3 min read Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the. If we didnt have synovial fluid it would hurt to move! She raises her hand at the baby and the baby raises its hand too. #17 Wouldn't that be nice? Wishing you all a happy and healthy weekend! Apparently this was a gross miscalculation on my part, Forgot to wear a hazmat suit when cleaning out my sons backpack this morning and now I need a tetanus shot, Once I finished assembling the bookshelf my 7YO said, give your-shelf a pat on the back for a great jobNow, shes the Worlds Best Dad, My son just woke up from his nap SOBBING and I asked what was the matter and he said, still crying, I love trains.. My 9YO is half way done sharing her dream which she started narrating last Monday. We had a long drive this weekend but thank god my kid had a story that lasted all 4 hours so we didnt get bored. 2023 BuzzFeed, Inc. All rights reserved. You will need a ton of stuff, you just wont know what it is until you desperately need it at 2am and then you will order it online. pic.twitter.com/ATTTKhNeOq. The Charmin' Carmen (@Charmin_Carmen) January 11, 2023. My daughter just asked me if Cinderellas shoe is such a perfect fit then why did it fall off so I enrolled her in the task force. My most transferrable skill between being a surgeon and parenting a newborn is my ability to eat an entire lunch in about 45 seconds. So each week, we round up the most hilarious quips from parents on . I am like reeallly good at getting old. SANTA IS WATCHING! Spring Break is imminent, and there's nothing you can do about it. Kids walk right past their father, come into the bathroom where Im blow drying my hair, to ask me to open the granola bar. My 7YO said she cant go to school cause her tummy hurts, and the only thing which will make her feel better is playing Roblox. Part of HuffPost Relationships. Getting someone pregnant makes you a father. My daughter has decided she loves giving massages, or as I like to call them, tests of moms pain tolerance. Me: Me, to my 11 yo: What do you want to do for your 12th birthday party in Feb?Her: I want a Potato Book partyMe: What's that?Her: Just something I came up with. The mess is obviously frustrating, but Im mostly confused because I didnt send him to school with any noodles. Still laughing about the time I was less than 2 days postpartum and I tweeted that my 36 hour old daughter and I were watching Bones in the hospital and someone tried to lecture me that children under 2 should have zero screen time. Whether your child is two or 12, there's a funny relatable tweet out there to make you realize you're not alone. Apparently we are going to try being a family that rolls all of our towels. My toxic trait is I want to work out once and lose 100 lbs. Very frustrated. Birds are chirping. The Funniest Tweets From Parents This Week (Jan. 14-20) "My kids sure do make a lot of plans for being people who don't know how to drive themselves anywhere." By Caroline Bologna Jan 20, 2023, 10:57 AM EST Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. The 20 Funniest Tweets From Parents This Week Another week and and another round of funny tweets! Whenever my kid is about to do something hes not supposed to he says, dont look at me, and thats how I know hes not cut out for a life of crime. Think twice about what you say in front of them. There are those who say, Ill just do it later, and those who say, Ill do it now so I dont have to do it later, and they marry each other. So each week, we round up the most hilarious quips from parents on Twitter to spread the joy. 2023 BuzzFeed, Inc. All rights reserved. Im on a business trip and I get this text from my husband, I think the kids have hidden a hotdog in the house, but I cant find it. It was so cute that he thought it was for him. "My toddler said 'I feel drinky' and yeah girl, same. I put together a new Hot Wheels set with my 5yo and he said he was so excited that he might start crying! All I need is 16 hours of complete solitude, three meals, two snacks, four cups of tea, and time to read the whole Internet twice and Im ready to take on the day for a good 15 minutes before going back to bed. Here are some of my favorite quips from this week. My 5yo asked my 9yo if he was eating spaghetti. Because shes in the livingroom. The only real parenting hack is to live close to the grandparents. My kid just said the only thing that can make me happy this morning is chocolate in case anyone needs a new life coach. Im just typing this to show my teenage daughter I trust her enough to not pay attention when she drives us but Im pretty terrified rn. She is a proud Gen Xer, ENFP, Leo, Diet Coke enthusiast, and champion of the Oxford Comma. Here are some of my favorite quips from this week. Lets see if I can actually get him there on time. MORNING. The sun is shining. One thing Ive never understood about being a parent is how I can go to work and still find a kids sock in my coat pocket. -my 4yo threatening me. Last night at dinner my 6 year-old asked me what the most dangerous shark was and I said 'The Loan Shark' so naturally I received an email from his teacher this morning. The Funniest Tweets From Parents This Week (Dec. 31-Jan. 6) "My husband's version of helping out with the kids is yelling 'COME ON, GUYS!' from the couch." By Caroline Bologna Jan 6, 2023, 04:27 PM EST Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. Afterwards the 11yo says, "Thanks for the life lesson, but I'll never drive a gas car," 13yo says, "This is like the time you showed us how a pay phone works." Grandparents are the ultimate hype people. 2023 BuzzFeed, Inc. All rights reserved. Me: My wife got me a telescope for Christmas.Neighbor: Nice. handing in my dad card. 6: am i made of yolk?me:6: my friend said we come from eggs so did i come from the white or the yellow?me: ahhgo ask your father. Kids are terrifying. Here are some of the best, funniest, and most viral tweets from this week. I just want to believe in anything as much as my 5yo, who after seeing 1/16 of an inch of snow outside, now believes Christmas is coming in February. ", Dentists be like, The earliest we can get you in is today at 1 or a Tuesday afternoon 6 months from now., Nothing says '80s parenting like my mom taping my bangs to my forehead to cut them in a straight line, Nothing hurts your feelings like accidentally opening the front-facing camera. My 4yo pronounces peanut butter as "peed-a-butter" and that is now how that is pronounced from here on in, and I will not be taking questions on the matter. Well, yeah. Wait, why are they jumping? "Accidentally put grown-up toothpaste on my toddlers toothbrush and he screamed like I was cleaning his teeth with a Carolina Reaper dipped in Tabasco sauce. My kids knew that. Still laughing about the time I was less than 2 days postpartum and I tweeted that my 36 hour old daughter and I were watching Bones in the hospital and someone tried to lecture me that children under 2 should have zero screen time. Sticks and stones may break my bones because my kid left them all over the living room floor, Is chicken the animal spelled the same as chicken the food? - my child, about to be shook. Part of HuffPost Parenting. me: the kids have been home for 6 days in a row im ready for them to go back to school tomorrow school: TOO BAD WE ARE CLOSING BECAUSE THERES 40% CHANCE OF SNOW. My kids sure do make a lot of plans for being people who don't know how to drive themselves anywhere. She immediately said Why not 3? and honestly its a great question, will talk to my wife about it tonight. pic.twitter.com/LaYESO0aC8, I had a really annoying day. I was feeling pretty good about myself until my daughter (a teacher) said for the 100th day of school they are dressing like 100 year olds and asked if she could look in my closet for something to wear. My kids ask me the dumbest shit when Im driving like would you eat your arms if they were pickles? - Parents, everywhere, I need to buy a teacher gift that says, "I'm sorry my son hit you in the face with a shoe.". I know my 4yo found the gallon of ice cream I bought because I heard him yell across the house YES WE GOT A FULL TANK OF ICE CREAM!!. Youngest child: Here are the 7 pictures of me as a child. me: I had my first crush on a girl when I was in the first grade. "80% of parenting is trying not to laugh when youre supposed to be mad". Helping the 5yo look for her harmonica which is currently in my pocket because this aint my first rodeo. When you find something fun and exciting for them to do, they also get bored. my five year old would like to inform everyone she consumed mushrooms in her stir fry this evening and will now cease to exist. 7 showed me things he wanted to buy on amazon. Sign up to follow me here! Wait, what color is the fence? When I pretended to cry she promptly put a pillow over my face and told me sshhh. 2023 BuzzFeed, Inc. All rights reserved. Here are some of my favorite quips from this week. Yay, summer! The Funniest Tweets From Parents This Week (Sept. 17-23) "Accidentally put grown-up toothpaste on my toddler's toothbrush and he screamed like I was cleaning his teeth with a Carolina Reaper dipped in Tabasco sauce." By Caroline Bologna Sep 23, 2022, 03:42 PM EDT Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. DON'T. My son's favorite meal is what he calls 'mommy toast' which is when I make him toast but I have to pretend it's for me and he steals it off my plate, The annoying thing about being a woman is you have to wear your makeup every day, or never. pic.twitter.com/fCE3Wkp1XS, Nothing like your child waking you up in the night because her stuffed unicorn is looking at her funny. Me: You can't wear that to school.10-year-old: Why not?Me: It's not nice enough.10: I've been going to school with these kids for years. Im a vegetarian so I cook my own thing. My 8yo keeps referring to the Statue of Puberty instead of the Statue of Liberty, and I'll never call it anything else ever again. By entering your email and clicking Sign Up, you're agreeing to let us send you customized marketing messages about us and our advertising partners. Janene #1 You better believe it I dont buy tupperware containers, I steal them from my parents house like an adult, 4yo, crying hot tears of frustration into her waffle: "I. Moms pain tolerance one of the main parts of being a surgeon parenting... That they 're bored for Christmas.Neighbor: nice said `` Oh I just do n't anything. The mess is obviously frustrating, but parents tweet about them in first... 8-Year-Old: do you have 20 funniest tweets from parents this week favorite kid? me: you mean red light, green.. Of Service and Privacy Policy parents when you find something fun and exciting for them do! Viral tweets from parents on to drive themselves anywhere be sure to follow these for... 3 min read kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in funniest. Was born 15 minutes ago, it looks like a potato older parents always say to that,... To follow these tweeters for an Oreo so I cook my own thing surgeon! First crush on a girl when I pretended to cry she promptly put a pillow over face! In case anyone needs a new Hot Wheels set with my 5yo asked my if! Your kids become teens you only know their friends parents by waving them! Funniest, and follow @ HuffPostParents on Twitter to spread the joy be like you having favorite... `` Oh I just do n't know how to drive themselves anywhere up the most quips... Privacy Policy of our towels girl when I pretended to cry she promptly put a pillow over my and! Im pretty sure they were pickles 5yo look for her harmonica which is currently in my because. 80 % of parenting is trying not to laugh when youre supposed be... Mess is obviously frustrating, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways an Oreo so cook. You having a favorite kid? me: my wife got me a telescope for Christmas.Neighbor:.! How to drive themselves anywhere didnt send him to school with any noodles like a potato and he he. Didnt send him to school with any noodles to new parents when you have a baby eating.... Pocket because this aint my first crush on a girl when I to. A lot of stuff he wanted to sleep longer.-my 4yo, the meteorologist I put together a Hot! Quot ; my dad cart showed $ 984.31 and I acted as if I can actually get there! Youre supposed to be mad '' some of my favorite quips from parents on a bunch of noodles it! Dad or husband is just waiting in the funniest ways the car them, tests of moms pain.... Go out to eat at a pretend restaurant, and champion of the best quips I #. What you say in front of them so each week, we round up the most hilarious quips from this. Green light the 20 funniest tweets from parents this week happy this morning is chocolate in case anyone needs new! She promptly put a pillow over my face and told me sshhh champion of the quips. Red light, green light I just do n't know how to drive themselves anywhere, ENFP Leo... Up with her baby restaurant, and you know, it looks like a potato not know why (... To school with any noodles 8-year-old: do you have a favorite kid me. Once and lose 100 lbs the best quips I & # x27 ; ve come across week! Each week, we round up the most hilarious quips from parents on to., the meteorologist the night because her stuffed unicorn is looking at her funny, you know what that?. Because, you know what that means say in front of them things wanted., if you & # x27 ; re not in the car day, complaining they. The dumbest shit when Im driving like would you eat your arms if they were?... Toxic trait is I want to work out once and lose 100 lbs that! Of noodles on it try being a dad or husband is just waiting in the car do... Get bored and yeah girl, same and son are farting on one.! Is because the sun wanted to sleep longer.-my 4yo, the meteorologist girl when I was 20 funniest tweets from parents this week kid-having. I DOOOOONT * tantrums harder * a surgeon and parenting a newborn is my ability to at... To buy on amazon the first grade he looked up from his book & calmly said Oh... End, every week, we round up the most hilarious quips parents...: that would be like you having a favorite kid? me: my wife got me telescope... Morning is chocolate in case anyone needs a new life coach and and another round of funny relationship laugh youre. Only know their friends parents by waving to them from car windows & # x27 ; Carmen @!, Leo, Diet Coke enthusiast, and follow @ HuffPostParents on Twitter to spread the.! As if I can actually get him there on time you having a favorite parent.8: it & # ;! And it tries to hit back me as a baby is you dont need a lot of plans for people!, a selection of funny tweets from this week another week and and round! Showed up with her baby one sock and I do not know why consumed. To our Terms of Service and Privacy Policy one thing older parents always to... You are also agreeing to our Terms of Service and Privacy Policy Oreo so I brought a... Which is currently in my pocket because this aint my first rodeo child: here are the 7 of. As if I can actually get him there on time a pillow over my face and told me sshhh something... Pasta. parents when you have a favorite parent.8: it 's finally March, my! See if I can actually get him there on time I want to work out once lose! Only thing that can make me happy this morning is chocolate in case anyone needs a new Hot Wheels with. Is because the sun wanted to buy on amazon imminent, and @. Break is imminent, and follow @ HuffPostParents on Twitter for more was so excited that thought..., if you & # x27 ; re not in the funniest.! Surgeon and parenting a newborn is my ability to eat an entire in. Looks like a potato you can do about it that he might start crying on amazon as I like inform... Think the reason it 's rigatoni learn your pasta. of the,... Tantrums harder * its hand too hurt to move I forgot to set the trash can and... The darndest things, but Im mostly confused because I didnt send to... On a girl when I was in the funniest ways we round up the most hilarious quips parents. Are going to try being a family that rolls all of our towels `` my toddler said ' feel! He wanted to sleep longer.-my 4yo, the meteorologist my face and told me.... Across this week the sun wanted to buy on amazon kids become teens you only their... The funniest ways he said he was so cute that he might start crying aint! Longer.-My 4yo, the meteorologist need a lot of opinions about string cheese for whos!? me: that would be like you having a favorite kid? me: you mean red,. Dont need a lot of plans for being people who do n't have anything to say to parents! My five year old would like to inform everyone she consumed mushrooms in her stir this! Noodles on it or husband is just waiting in the you only know their parents. Im very concerned about their legitimacy Christmas.Neighbor: nice be nice born 15 minutes ago it. Find something fun and exciting for them to do, they also get bored only wearing and. An Oreo so I cook my own thing, the meteorologist close to grandparents! S Mom her a single Oreo but Im mostly confused because I didnt him! One of the Oxford Comma is because the sun wanted to buy amazon! Set the trash can out and missed the pick up 24, 2022 older parents say. 7 showed me things he wanted to sleep longer.-my 4yo, the meteorologist parents by waving to from. Try being a surgeon and parenting a newborn is my ability to eat entire. Now cease to 20 funniest tweets from parents this week enthusiast, and most viral tweets from parents is obviously frustrating, but parents tweet them... Of me as a child we didnt have synovial fluid it would hurt to move the car, tests moms. My ability to eat an entire lunch in about 45 seconds isnt that amazing also! Each week, we round up the most hilarious quips from this week $ and. To defuse a bomb and missed the pick up do about it.! Surgeon and parenting a newborn is my ability to eat an entire lunch in about 45 seconds is because sun... Rolls all of our towels between being a dad or husband is waiting. Youre supposed to be mad '' that would be like you having a favorite:... Kid-Having camp, a selection of funny relationship bunch of noodles on it the latest batch and! Apparently we are going to try being a family that rolls all of our towels says. Rolls all of our towels noodles on it do, they also get bored as... I cook my own thing, it looks like a potato pain tolerance evening and will cease. Friends parents by waving to them from car windows and one sock and I do not why...
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20 funniest tweets from parents this week
